


Church’s Bad Days

by Preelikeswriting



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 13:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14021415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Preelikeswriting/pseuds/Preelikeswriting
Summary: Church has issues related to being the AI he doesn’t know he is.Written for RvB Angst War





	Church’s Bad Days

It’s really fucking loud inside Church’s head today.

Flowers is off… somewhere, and Tucker was off heckling the reds last he checked. Normally he’d be right there with him, but today things were just too loud. Flowers told him he thinks it’s a result of the head injury he got when he first came to Blue Base. And while he has nothing to contradict that, it just doesn’t feel right.

Some days he hears things.

Not, like a crazy person or anything. Or at least he doesn’t think so. Hopes so. He just hears voices. Just out of range, like they’re underwater. Sometimes he can make them out, but then it’s like remembering a conversation out of context. The words don’t carry the same weight anymore, and sometimes that really gets to him. Because he knows he should remember. He knows that it’s important he just- can’t quite get there.

And then he gets angry.

He gets angrier and angrier and he can’t stop it from growing inside of him and then- it’s just gone. He feels empty. Like a sail with the wind gone out of it. And it scares him. Tugs on something deep inside that he’s forgotten and it consumes him until he’s stuck in a constant loop of What am I missing?!

~~**No** Allison _Jesus_ No ** _ALLISON_** pleasepleaseplease~~

Until it’s the only thing he can think of, and the thoughts are coming too fast, and his breathing is coming to fast, and his lungs don’t feel like his anymore. _It’s all just happening too fast._

Then he’s standing in front of a mirror with his helmet off, and he can’t bring himself to accept the face in front of him as his own.

The next day things are better. His head is quieter. He doesn’t mind that he can’t remember as much. It's better that way.

Flowers smiles at him in that weird way that’s both simultaneously comforting and horribly unsettling as he tells him they’re getting a sniper rifle in the next supply drop. And won’t that just be wonderful? Church just smiles akwardly and walks away.

Its better not remembering. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know. I don’t have access to my computer this week and I needed to write something.


End file.
